Everything that's in my heart. ♥
Hmm. I going to update. As many thing still in my heart. To whom it may concern. I'm sorry for everything. All this started when you wanted us to be friends. Now i finally understand why you wanted us to be friends. Sorry if i irritated you since that. I was just coming to terms of us being friends. I didn't know when you ask me to come over your house. I didn't know the reason was you wanted us to be close. Now i finally understand everything.
And about the misunderstanding. It was totally a big big misunderstanding on my part. How am i supposed to know your status were referring to me. When i say i miss you. You just say okay. When i ask do you really still love me. You say i don't know. I thought your status was referring someone else. That why i say all those harsh words to you. The status & the msg was very harsh. I admit that. But i say all that in thinking all very wrong. At that very moment i was sad plus very angry. I thought you give me hope. But in fact your status was referring to me. When i heard it from. I just when blank & speechless. I made the biggest mistake of my life. I should have get the facts right first. But now its all too late. All i can say is i'm sorry. This was my fault. But i would have not say those harsh words to you. If i didn't get it wrong. I not a heartless person to say all those things. And you know deep down i love you so much. How can i possibly meant every single of my words to you. Haish. :( But what happened cant be undone. I just want to say sorry from the bottom of my heart. I know you forgive me. But you can't forget it. I don't ask you to forget it. I just hope you don't take it to heart too much. As i will never say such thing to you. Its just a misunderstanding on my part to react that way. Haish.
And about me comparing you to other girls. Not a misunderstanding. I did say that. I admit. But i say it not for fun. It was because i saw you giving 3 love to someone. Straight away in my mind. I thought you & this guy have something on. 3 love okay. How you expect me to react? Smile & ignored. And still contact you as usual? Please. Thats why i say you were like other girls! Get it. Not because i for fun say it. Not really i meant to say such things to you. But the way i see it. Everything you do is why i react like this. Is why i'm saying all this things. Even if i never meant it at all. You're the one making me say all this things. Haish. I wont tell my friends that you are a pembustard. Because you have never bustard me. I KNOW YOU ARE FAITHFUL TO ME! YOU ARE TRUTHFUL TO ME! YOU ARE NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS OUT THERE! ITS JUST THAT YOU MAKING ME SAY ALL THIS HURFUL THINGS WHICH I DONT REALLY MEANT TO SAY THAT OF YOU. YOU KEEP ON GIVING ME THE WRONG IDEA! I know you are very faithful person. Thats is the main reason i fall for you in the very first place. Haish. I dont know what else to say.
Please just put yourself in my shoes. Try going through what i'm going through right now. Haish. Yesterday you told me your heart was 50/50. Okay i wont force you to be with me. Its your decision. Its your life. If people ask me why i break up if you. I will say "erm, because of a misunderstanding". Thats the way right you want. I wanted to meet you but you don't want. I wanted to say sorry in person. Say sorry from the bottom of my heart. And show you all this was just a totally misunderstanding. I wanted to clear things up. I never even given a chance. But you didn't want. So okay. Perhaps if this is what you want. I not going to disturb your life anymore. I won't contact you anymore.
But just think for a second. If all this misunderstanding doesn't happen. Will we be in this state we are right now? I don't think so. But you are just taking all this misunderstanding so hard. You know right i love you so much. All those long good night msg i say to you. Do you remember? I remember everything about us. I will never forget. From the day i know you. Till the day we started to contact each other. Till the very day we both fall in love with each other. Till now. From friendship to relationship and back to friendship. We were friends for 8 months. Get to know each other & at very same time fall for each other for less than 1 month. And yeah been together for 1 month. Total of 10 months we gone through everything.
But now i dont know if it will still continue. You said things didn't go the way like how you want it to be. But for me i didn't imagine that things were going to be like this. I always thought you going to be mine. But i thought wrong. The dream i used to dream is just a dream. Thanks for making the dream possible once. Thanks for everything. Thanks for being a loving & wonderful exgf. Thanks for showering me with love all this while. Everything about us when we were together was so true for me. After your decision for us to be friends. Just all this misunderstanding occur. When we been together nothing as happen like how big is happening right now. I didnt given a chance. So i take it that this is what you want. End everything just like that. Haish. Lastly do take good care of yourself. And be happy always too yeah.
And before i forget thanks to all my friends who have been there for me. In fact thanks to everyone. Some who i did even think that wont care about me. But yet they still show some concern. Thank you so much guys! But especially thanks to Iman, Farhan, Salim, Melly, Nana & Eyfar! Aku syg korang larh! I'm happy to have a such lovely friends in my life. I wont cry anymore though. But thats in the outside. In the inside i cant be sure if i will cry or not. But whatever it is, i will still be strong. Now wanna concentrate in life other things! LOL. [T]hats[J]ust[R]ight *wink*
